I've had a lot of John Denver stuck in my head recently. I love Annie's Song. The lyrics are thus:
You fill up my senses
Like a night in a forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses
Come fill me again
Come let me love you
Let me give my life to you
Let me drown in your laughter
Let me die in your arms
Let me lay down beside you
Let me always be with you
Come let me love you
Come love me again
It repeats some of the words.
I'm in a foul mood tonight. I want to cry and scream at the same time, and I think the crying part is winning because I don't want to scream and wake up my family. I honestly don't know why I'm so upset. I feel hurt and betrayed. Tonight wasn't the best, but I never have felt so hurt after something like this happened. And I worked it out. I was in a place tonight that brought back some rotten memories. I want to scream right now. It shouldn't hurt anymore. And yet it does. My heart yanks out of me every single time I'm reminded of it. It doesn't help that the guy I'm interested didn't talk much to me tonight. That might have helped. No, it wouldn't have. I really need a good guy friend to talk to. And I don't have one anymore.
I've decided that I'm going to hide in a hole for a little while. At least until it doesn't hurt anymore. It's ironic that I want to talk to a guy about my guy problems, isn't it? It's because while a guy hurt me, stomped all over my heart and whatnot, it's men who can comfort me the best. Women try to one up. Men call each other names, even if they don't know the person. Women want to hold a pity party. I'd much prefer to get it out and get it over with.
So yeah. That was fun. At least I know what's bothering me now.
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