Feigning Friendship

Well, I don't feign friendship.  I just have many people do it to me.  Mostly either to get to a guy that I like or to keep me away from a guy that I like. 

Which happened not too long ago.  I told a girl that I liked a guy, I told her dibs, and back off, and she went ahead and played it up until he asked her out. 

She's still pretending to be my friend, when I'm not even trying to be hers anymore. 

The only way I can explain her actions around me ever since she started dating him is that she's trying to hide him from me. 

I'm not sure if she's afraid I'm going to tell him the truth of what happened, or if she's afraid I'm going to try to steal him away from her, but it's getting annoying.  I'm trying to get over it, but the way she keeps this game of hers going... It's obnoxious.

All I want to do is be his friend.  And I'm having trouble with it because of her.

But little does she know that he told me I was his only friend in the ward, while she was in the same room as me.  Good.

I'm not going to let her obnoxious attitude dictate my relationship with him.

And this post is for you, Aunt Jess.  I know you've missed updates on my crazy life.

One month...?

So, it's been a while since I've blogged.  A lot has happened, while a lot hasn't happened.  There isn't much to say, other than I'm about to start working on my book again.  Sand volleyball every Wednesday and Ultimate Frisbee every Thursday night rocks.  Then, Saturday mornings I will be hiking with my good friend Hillary.  I'm listening to my happy music and hoping I don't puke because my stomach hates me.  My health hasn't been the best, but it's getting better.  Umm..  Can this blog be any more vague?  I'm thinking no.

General Conference and Folk Dance... Among Other Things...

So, it's been a while since I've blogged.  And so, here I am, catching up on the past week.  Ish.  Well, mostly the past few days.  And by few I mean... Like since Saturday.

So, General Conference was AMAZING!!!  I loved it SOOO much and I haven't finished watching it all yet.  Basically, I started laughing when I heard so many things about marriage directed toward the young single men.  We even talked about it last night at Family Home Evening with all the YSA's.  Yeah, every single girl there started laughing, while the men smiled nervously.  It was basically awesome. 

So, I got to sing in the free speech zone on Temple Square.  That was AMAZING!!!!  I LOVED every minute of it!!!  It was like an hour of singing hymns while protesters shouted, trying to overpower us with their voices, which there were like 40 of us... and like 3 of them...  The spirit was SOOO strong while we were singing.  We sang "I Know That My Redeemer Lives" and "Praise To The Man" among others.  Especially with those songs, I felt like I wasn't singing, but a host of angels was singing through me.

Then, we had a reserved section waiting for us in the Conference Center for Music and the Spoken Word and then the Sunday Morning Session of General Conference.  Wow.  I cannot describe how much I absolutely ADORE listening to the Prophets speak to us.  And Music and the Spoken Word was incredible, like always.

Oh, and so, the guy I was sitting next to, Lance, has a tendency to fall asleep in church meetings... Like in Stake Conference... He fell asleep, and he was sitting next to me.  My dear friend, Mandy, had me push him and wake him up.  So, as I was sitting next to him at General Conference, and Mandy was clear on the other side of the section, she sent me a text saying, "I'm counting on you to keep Lance awake for me."  Ha ha ha!  I had already thought of that before she sent it to me.  So, during Music and the Spoken Word, I heard him snore once.  The guy sitting on the other side of him attempted to put something in his mouth while he was sleeping, but he woke up too soon.  Ha ha.  I kept looking over at him to make sure he was awake... And one time it looked like he was asleep, so I nudged him with my elbow.  He was very pleasant with his response, and then I told him what Mandy had text me.  He said that he figured it when I started laughing when Mandy sent him a text to tell me to look at my phone.  (I know, that was kinda complicated.  Don't worry too much about it.)  Anywho, I showed him and let him read her next text to me, which was, "Oh yeah?  You already thought of it?  Well, poke him in the side for me for good measure. :-)"  I then made it my goal to poke him in the side when he wasn't aware of it.  So, when Lance stretched after the conference was over, I poked him as hard as I possibly could.  Then he text Mandy, telling her something to the extent of she had a partner in crime (aka me) sitting next to him. 

It was basically amazing. 

So, last night at FHE we had a folk dance night.  I taught it.  It was the first time in my life that I had ever taught a dance class, and it ended up going rather well.  Given, now that I see pictures of the outfit I had on, I will never wear that again, but other than that, I had a great time!  I taught 5 dances:  Uzicka Carloma, Zemer Atik, Andro Returne, Yesh Lanu Taish, and Pata Pata.  I got a text this morning from my Bishop telling me that he was still dancing today at work, and that we need to have another folk dance night next month.  Ha!  Wow.  It really was a hit, which kinda surprised me.  I think I'm only going to teach 2 dances next time, and review everything we did last night after that...

So, I'm sitting here, late at night, watching my nephew and The Emperor's New Groove.  I know I shouldn't, but sometimes I feel like I'm raising him all by myself.  Kinda as a single mother, minus the fact he isn't my son.  I love him so much though.  I hope that one day, in the future, when I get married and have children, they're as good and well behaved as he is.  It's so cute, because he can quote most of the movie we're watching.  And he does it in such a way that it's more funny than the movie.

I watched Tangled for the first time during the Priesthood session of Conference.  It is my new favorite movie, and I really need to buy it.  It's kinda funny though, because I remember my Grandma having some fairytale movies, and I always wanted to watch Rapunzel.  It's always been one of my favorite stories.

I also finished a book called Eragon today.  It was AMAZING.  And I really want to read the rest of the series now.  Eldest and Brisingr, before the 4th book comes out in November. 

But first, I'm going to review The Mortal Instruments series.  Because I'm pretty sure that the 4th book comes out on the 12th of this month...  I like those books so much better than the Twilight series.  They're much better written and better edited.  The storyline is better, and much more plausible.  In my opinion. 

Anywho, that's all for now.  I'm off to listen to an episode of Radio Lab.  

Roommates

So, yesterday was basically awesome.  I woke up to my mom wanting me to help her with a conference call because her computer crashed and she was using a computer with Ubuntu, and didn't know how to work it.  I noticed quickly that I had two missed calls and a text message.  After helping my mom with what she needed, I headed by to my room to check the calls and the messages.

Lo and behold it was one of my amazing friends who was having housing issues.  Her friend who owns a house and was letting her live there is getting married in about two weeks, so she had to move out.  A friend of mine was letting her crash on her couch while she was in between housing situations.  This past week my parents offered her a place to stay for a certain amount of rent.  She had decided on staying at my friend's house, which was perfectly fine by me.

Her text said, "Hannah, when you wake up, please call me.  It's an emergency."  I immediately called her, the good friend I am.  She had gotten kicked out of my friends house by the wronchy landlady.  So, she had nowhere to go.  All of her family is down south, and she asked if she could have somewhere to stay.  Our housing situation is such that she and I have to share a room for about a month.  I'm sure she probably minds.  But she's being exceptionally wonderful about it.  I feel bad that I can't offer her a clean house and a room of her own for a little while.  I'm working on it.  My parents are absolutely incredible for opening their doors to a complete stranger to them, but such a wonderful friend to me.  Okay, not a complete stranger.  They've met her before.  But only briefly. 

I feel bad that instead of helping her move in yesterday I had to spend the day organizing my things so she would be able to take half of my room.  I know it's not enough space for her.  But it's all I can do for the next month, or however long it takes my brother-in-law to move out.  I hope it's no longer than that.

After she moved in, we sat in our room and talked.  It was so nice to have someone that I could do that with.  She is seriously the most amazing person I have ever met in my life.  She's been through so much, and yet she is so full of love for everyone and everything.  Honestly, I hope I can pick up some of her amazing awesomeness while she lives here. 

I'm very grateful to Heavenly Father to place me in her life at this time so that I can help her.  It sounds kinda selfish, but without her being in this situation, I wouldn't be able to offer my services in this way to someone.  I'd probably be terrified to do it as an adult.  And now, my parents show me the most charity I have ever seen in my life.  I love my family.  I don't even mind that she comes in at 4 am and gets up for work before I can even think straight.  She's absolutely incredible.  No words can describe how wonderful she is.

I hope I can learn to be half as amazing as she is.

Oh, and today, I was telling a good friend of mine how she and I are literally sharing a room.  I was disappointed for the first question out of her mouth was, "Is she paying rent?  How much?"  I mean, seriously.  She didn't have anywhere to go.  I'm not going to turn her away because she can't afford your $350 a month rent, car payment, and gas.  I'm not going to be snotty because she doesn't have family financial support like you do.  I'm not going to turn her away if she can't pay rent.  But that's NOT your business in the first place.  So I answered her questions by saying that was between my parents and her.  If she wants to tell them, that's fine.  I won't tell them.  I don't think it's their business.

Another blog to gather my thoughts.

So, I've felt a little bit forsaken by my girl friends recently.  And yet, I feel I've never been closer to my guy friends.  Seriously.  I've never been big on texting guys, but I've text more of them in the past three days that I think I ever have in my life.  It's like I always thought:  I get along better with guys.  I'm the type that could be a really good friend to basically any guy.  Pretty awesome, right?  Well, except for the dating scene, because then everyone considers you a friend and overlooks you.

I have found truth in the statement that men are jerks, but women are cruel.  I can tell when people don't like me.  I can tell when people are being friendly to me for the sake of being friendly.  And I can tell when people are genuine.  It's hard for me.  I know I'm not the most beautiful woman to most people.  I think that's why I've found I'm so accepting of people.  The misfits tend to stick together, and have a better time.  But honestly, actions speak louder than words.

I find it hard choosing the better part most of the time.  I'd like to whine and cry and scream at the top of my lungs, hurt other people like they hurt me all the time.  But I know it's not what Christ would do. 

"He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

 ¶Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed."  -Isaiah 53:3-5

I've always loved that scripture.  And it helps me when I realize that the Son of Man hath descended below all things.  The condescension of the Savior of the World is so vast we cannot comprehend it.  What little thing it is to have someone turn against us, when His own people turn against Him and crucified Him?

So, I've found out what was bothering me.  Any tips or suggestions on trying to deal with these people other than by smiting them with kindness would be greatly appreciated.  Given, please try to keep the suggestions legal.  I never know about some of you...

Dreamland...

So, I entitled this blog dreamland, since I don't have one of the keys on my keyboard for the other title I would have given it.

I've noticed myself having precognition recently.  It seems to come when I'm living my life the right way.  It's a little bit freaky though, because how it happens is, I'll be writing in my journal and I see the words on the page before I write them.  I'll be typing in my book, and I'll see a page full of text when I start a brand new page.  I'll call someone I never have before and I'll hear their voice, saying a few words, exactly as it sounds when it happens.

I think it might be Heavenly Father's way of letting me know that I'm doing the right things.  That my life is on the right track.  At least, that's what I like to think.  I also think of how we were tutored on everything we do here, in the mortal world, in the pre-mortal life.

I think that's why my dreams come true.  I think I've been through everything I'm going through.  Which is something random to try to wrap your brain around.  But when I see events from my day in the previous night's dream... It gives me so much to think about.  How wonderful Heavenly Father is for preparing me for the events of my day!

I'm going to a nice devotional tomorrow morning, and I'm really looking forward to it.  After, I'm going to the Temple, whether or not anyone comes with me.  I need the peace the Temple brings into my life.  And I have a lot of reasons for needing the blessings of the Temple.  One of my good childhood friend's aunt is really sick.  She has a disease that takes more lives than breast cancer, and it has an incredibly quick onset.  If she recovers, the doctors say it'll be a year before she returns.  So, everyone who reads this, pray for this woman.  I only know that her name is Mary, and that she's in Ohio.  We need to get as many prayers going her way as possible.

Random Rambling the First

I feel so filled with love for my fellow mankind right now.  It seems very random, especially since I've felt so little love from them recently.  Maybe it's the fact that I'm planning on setting up two of my friends on a semi-blind date.  And it wasn't my idea.  It was one of them.  I wouldn't set anyone up if I had the choice.  And apparently I'm in charge of this date.  And I have to ask someone out too?  I don't know how well this is going to go over.  I've been mulling over who I should ask and I don't know.  I have a hard time finding someone I know of that doesn't have too many problems... Well, what I would consider problems.  I've become extremely picky in my dating choices of late.  And I'm so sick of it that I don't even want to try anymore.  But I have a feeling that I'm always going to have to be the one who asks the first date.  I don't care though.  I'll make them be the gentleman though.  Open doors for me, pick me up, drive, pull out seats for me, walk next to the road, should we walk anywhere that involves a road.  You know.  Chivalrous stuff.

I think we're going to play Wal-Mart Scavenger Hunt.  It's a fun game.  Each couple has 20 minutes to find 5 items in Wal-Mart and write them down for the other couples to retrieve (the more couples the better), then the first couple to retrieve the items wins.  You have to keep it clean though.  It's not fun when people feel awkward.  And they have to be smallish items.  And nothing that involves the help of a Wal-Mart employee to retrieve.  Because, lets face it:  Wal-Mart employees aren't the greatest when it comes to customer service.  Then maybe dinner after/before.  I don't know.  I'm really bad at planning dates, since I haven't ever been on a good one.  Ha ha.  My friend Cami and I were talking tonight and it appears that we need to share our horrific dating stories.

While I'm in no rush to get married, I will be grateful when this rotten dating part of my life is over.  I mean, I'm still VERY young.  I am NOT an old maid, however much the Utah view of marriage skews things.