I finally unfriended and blocked Mike on facebook. Yeah, I blocked him once before, but my resolve didn't last more than 24 hours. This one has to last. Because I was a jerk to him, and I'm sure he will never speak to me again for what I said...
I told him we could never work because he doesn't know how to feel. He says he wants to find love but he couldn't recognize it staring him in the face for the past 7.5 months... And that he doesn't let his feelings sink in long enough to actually feel them...
There was a time when he and I could have been married, and things would have been well. But he changed. Maybe things would have been different if we would have been able to spend more time together in person. Maybe not. But what is done is done this time...
I haven't yet blocked his number. Part of me is curious to see if he'll come crawling back to me when his relationship fails, and the rest of his life falls apart. It's not that I want his life to fall apart, I just know how unstable he is and am a realist...
But what am I supposed to do if he does come crawling back? I can't have him hurt me again. No. I'm going to tell him that if he needs me, he needs to prove it and change... Which I know he is adamantly against... So it will be my way of telling him off. Yeah. I can do that. I hope.
The biggest problem I appear to be having is the fact that I can't hate him. No, even after all the crap he put me through, I still love him. I don't consider it a sign of weakness. No, I consider it an act of charity. And I don't care if he sees it the same way or not.
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