A month

So, a lot has happened over the past month. That guy never did try to make things up to me, oh well. He's being friendly enough to me. At least, he was very friendly and attentive to me on the beach. But that was one time out of two I've seen him since then, and the first time, all we did was make eye contact. I know he's a really nice guy, but things are going too slow with him.

Besides, I'm 98% certain someone else likes me. Yeah, it just happens to be the guy I was flirting with the day I was stood up. He pulled me side at church one day and told me I needed to go to fhe the next day. I said that I know I'd been slacking, but I've been working and haven't been able to go, and that I felt like it had been months since I've gone. "Three weeks," was his response. A girl that was nearby said,  "Wow! You REALLY pay attention!" He blushed as he responded with, "I know my people. She's one of my people."

I honestly don't know how I feel about his attentions to me. If I could define how I see him, I would say he is totally what I always thought a Strippling Warrior would be like.

But I'm afraid.

I think I'm ok with liking the guy that stood me up because there's little chance of him ever returning my feelings for him, because he's THAT far out of my league.

But with this guy... If I like him... There's an honest chance for progression.

And that terrifies me.

I think it's because of what happened with Mike. I'm afraid because things went so quickly with him, and ended up so wrong, that I'll make the same mistake again, but go through with it.

And my dreams won't be shattered with the first guy, because I've come to terms that he's so far out of my league. Or have I?

No, I really haven't. I'm still hopeful things still work out somehow with him, but doubtful that they will. He was just the first guy to even remotely turn my head after I moved, and it's been difficult to try to turn it back. I know I haven't succeeded yet, and I'm not sure that I want to succeed. Why should I go after someone who I don't feel that strongly attracted to?

I don't know.

There's a lot I need to figure out. I hope my trip to the temple tomorrow helps me figure things out.