Less than 5 weeks now!

I told my boss today that I'm moving. It went surprisingly well. I don't think it would have, however, if I hadn't gone to the Temple first this morning.

I honestly didn't think I'd make it since I went to (another) pool party late last night, and stayed out until well after midnight (we won't mention the hour...). But I woke up and went, and was the second in a large group of my friends to get there. And as I was studying the words of Isaiah there, I knew that everything was going to be alright.

"But Hannah, your last post a week ago mentioned a guy. What are you going to do about him?"

Haha. Good question. I've seen him twice since then, the first time I made a complete fool out of myself (which we've both since had a great laugh over), the second time where we just talked. A lot. A lot a lot. I found out he still has a year of undergrad left a BYU (everyone has their faults. ;P ). Which means he'll be moving to Utah in the fall. Shortly after I move there. And, if something should happen, then great. If not, oh well.

I still have that reassurance from the Spirit in the Temple this morning that everything will work out better than I could possibly hope for. When Derek gave me that blessing, he made sure I understood that Heavenly Father has something in store for me that's beyond anything I can imagine at this time. Which leads my heart to exclaim with two different hymns:

"How great, how glorious, how complete
Redemption's grand design!
Where justice, love, and mercy meet
In harmony divine!"

"Come, we that love the Lord,
And let our joys be known.
Join in a song with sweet accord,
And worship at His throne.

"Let those refuse to sing
Who never knew our God,
But servants of the heav'nly King
May speak their joys abroad.

"The God who rules on high
And all the earth surveys--
Who rides upon the stormy sky
And calms the roaring seas--

"This mighty God is ours,
Our Father and our Love.
He will send down his heav'nly pow'rs
To carry us above."

Anywho, I've gotta run get ready for another pool party. I hope this was a good enough summary for y'all!!! :)

Well then... :)

Honestly, last night was one of the best nights of my life!

I met this really great guy, and I kinda feel like we hit it off really well. It's been a long time since I felt like that... Like since last February when I met my missionary friend who's now in Spain. In fact, I was fairly certain he was going to ask for my number.. But then I don't know what happened...

The only problem is that he was involved in an engagement that was recently broken off. So, I know if things happen at all with him it's going to be baby steps. Which I'm certainly ok with after my last relationship.

But I'm really hopeful for this one. I guess it helps that one of my best guy friends is friends with him, so he's totally already giving me dating advice. Haha. I was so embarrassed when I admitted an interest in him!

But whatever. Secrets don't ever help relationships. They only tear them apart. And if not tear, then they pick at the seams of a relationship, one stitch at a time until it all unravels...

I refuse to hide any secrets from the people I care for the most. And I hope they love me enough to feel the same.

My birthday is tomorrow. I'm totally celebrating by going to the Temple. I know I'll feel my family's love for me there. And my parents are going at the same time as I am, but in Utah. Oh, how certain I am that something wonderful that defies all words will happen in that sacred place tomorrow morning!!!

Yes, I wouldn't spend my birthday any other way than serving those wonderful people who have come before me, and are now anxiously awaiting the ordinances necessary unto eternal life and salvation!!! How wonderful it will be in the day that we meet again-when all the work shall be finished and we worship together at the Savior's feet!!!

My heart is so full of love right now. I'm so grateful for my experiences here in Texas-my life would be a lot darker than it is now if I hadn't come!!!

That moment, when you realize you like someone...

... but they like your best friend? Yeah, that sucks.

I went on two dates this past week, one with a guy I like, the other with someone I had never met before. The latter one flopped. The former one was decent, but I had to tell him off because things seemed awkward. No matter that I like him.

Whatevs though. I shouldn't get my hopes up with anyone here. I'm leaving soon. And however much I can see myself with someone here... I'm only half of what a relationship takes. And if the guys I'm interested in aren't interested in me, then who am I to hold onto nothing? No, I know I deserve someone who takes my breath away, and, likewise, I take his away. I deserve someone who treats me like a queen because he cares about me that much. And sometimes, I feel like both these guys treat me that way. And other times, it's obvious they don't care.

So I'm moving on. Wish me luck.

I feel like I should post something

I'm must not sure what that something should be.

I caught up with an old friend yesterday. And I was kinda asking myself the entire time why he and I never dated. Whatevs though.

I haven't seen the Strippling Warrior in over a week now because of work and Mother's Day. Sad. But whatevs. Maybe I'm not supposed to even give him a chance.

No, I really don't believe that. Especially since, when I close my eyes sometimes, I can see him with me, at my house in Utah. Is that weird? I think it may be.

So... Yeah. Idk what to do, so I'm putting all of my trust in Heavenly Father. I know as long as I keep His commandments, he'll lead me where I need to be.

Well...

I'm moving back to Utah. Mid July.

Yeah, that totally made up my mind.

So, tonight, after going to the temple, I had a nice long chat with some of the girls in my ward about the two guys I like. I finally found out how old the one who stood me up is (28, just like I guessed), and I've found my interest in him dwindling, especially after everything they told me about him. He seems rather arrogant and full of himself with all the stuff he's put some people through. He's an attorney though... Does this surprise me? Not so much.

When I told them about the other guy, they had nothing bad to say about him. And, in all honesty, I'm surprised more people aren't attracted to him the way I am attracted to him. He's seriously everything I've ever looked for as far as I've been able to tell. I seriously think my code name for him may be Strippling Warrior. It sounds much better than Prince  Charming. I don't think I've been giving him a fair chance. That will change though. Most especially this Saturday, when I see him at the HOLI festival of colors. :)

Oh, and I kinda went on an impromptu date with my home teacher last night. At least, it seemed that way.

A month

So, a lot has happened over the past month. That guy never did try to make things up to me, oh well. He's being friendly enough to me. At least, he was very friendly and attentive to me on the beach. But that was one time out of two I've seen him since then, and the first time, all we did was make eye contact. I know he's a really nice guy, but things are going too slow with him.

Besides, I'm 98% certain someone else likes me. Yeah, it just happens to be the guy I was flirting with the day I was stood up. He pulled me side at church one day and told me I needed to go to fhe the next day. I said that I know I'd been slacking, but I've been working and haven't been able to go, and that I felt like it had been months since I've gone. "Three weeks," was his response. A girl that was nearby said,  "Wow! You REALLY pay attention!" He blushed as he responded with, "I know my people. She's one of my people."

I honestly don't know how I feel about his attentions to me. If I could define how I see him, I would say he is totally what I always thought a Strippling Warrior would be like.

But I'm afraid.

I think I'm ok with liking the guy that stood me up because there's little chance of him ever returning my feelings for him, because he's THAT far out of my league.

But with this guy... If I like him... There's an honest chance for progression.

And that terrifies me.

I think it's because of what happened with Mike. I'm afraid because things went so quickly with him, and ended up so wrong, that I'll make the same mistake again, but go through with it.

And my dreams won't be shattered with the first guy, because I've come to terms that he's so far out of my league. Or have I?

No, I really haven't. I'm still hopeful things still work out somehow with him, but doubtful that they will. He was just the first guy to even remotely turn my head after I moved, and it's been difficult to try to turn it back. I know I haven't succeeded yet, and I'm not sure that I want to succeed. Why should I go after someone who I don't feel that strongly attracted to?

I don't know.

There's a lot I need to figure out. I hope my trip to the temple tomorrow helps me figure things out.