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Well, I'm back in Utah. And, rather surprisingly, I have no plans of returning to Texas.

And if there are any typos in this, I blame it on the fact that it's almost 5 am and I haven't gotten much sleep.

Which has been a huge issue with me since I got back: not sleeping well.

There have been a few things weighing on my mind that I can't seem to get away from.

Mostly men.

Why must I care?

I opened up to some really good friends tonight about how I feel, and my thoughts were confirmed. I'm just trying to figure out a way to not become bitter, because it's so easy to do.

I shouldn't even care. What effect do they have on my life? I guess I just get burned every time I spend too much time with men. And I'm in danger of making the same mistake again. So what am I going to do?

Become anti-social.

It's the best option, really. I hide in a hole, like a hermit crab, and everyone else continues on with their life, while I just try to get closer to the Lord and improve myself.

Because men can't hurt me forever.

Besides, there's a guy coming home from his mission in April, who probably thinks I've forgotten about him, since I haven't written to him in a couple of months. And while I was never intending to wait for him, he is the only guy who has ever asked for my number when it wasn't for a specific reason.

I guess we'll see if anything happens there.

And if it doesn't, then oh well.

I know what the Lord has promised me.

I just wish that men wouldn't pay any attention to me unless they were genuinely interested, because they don't realize how much they've hurt my spirit.