North and South

I just got done watching that movie.  All four episodes.

Goodness... I want a love story like that.  Except without all the pride getting in the way.  I just want a guy who will love me for me and who will chase after me like that.  Someone who won't give up on me, no matter how idiotic I am... Because we're all idiots when it comes to love.  I understand that now more fully than ever.  It's been a while since I've truly been in love with someone, and they hurt me so bad I don't want to love again just yet... Because I don't want the pain that comes with loving someone as much as I've loved in the past.

And I would like to welcome the person with the IP address from France to my viewership.  I don't get how you're finding this from around the world, because this blog isn't available on a search engine, but whatevs.

I think it's pretty obvious by my post that I can't sleep right now.  And I'm waking up early to go out to breakfast with my parents.  I'm excited for that, but it's obnoxious that I can't sleep.

I think after that I'm going to be going to the Bountiful Temple.  It's what I really need to do right now.  I keep praying about something really specific, and the answer keeps hitting me like a brick upside the head: "Go to the temple."

It's been really difficult for me, being so much farther away from the temple here in Utah than I was in Texas. I had made it such a priority to go to the temple when I was in Texas...  But that was to escape the horrible situation I was in.  Now that I'm jobless and don't have the luxury of other people paying for my gas money without feeling like a burden... It's been difficult.

I took a survey today to see if I could be part of a research study that would offer up to $800 compensation.  Yeah, I didn't qualify... Of course.  It would have been nice though.

I haven't even applied for any jobs yet.  I tried to get into school, but that's not going to happen until the Spring.  But maybe I'm meant to not have a job yet.  Maybe I'm meant to wait things out... See what happens.

I feel like something is about to happen that's more amazing than anything I could have ever hoped for, which kinda terrifies me.

Sometimes--okay, often--I feel so inadequate for anything that comes my way in life.  And every single time I start to think that way, I think about my Savior, and how much He loves me--how much He's done for me--and how much my Father in Heaven loves me.

How blessed I am to know that I am a daughter of God.  I'm reminded of a song called, "Thankful," by Josh Groban.  "Some days we forget to look around us - Some days we can't see the joy that surrounds us - So caught up inside ourselves - We take when we should give - So for tonight we pray for - What we know can be - And on this day we hope for - What we still can't see - It's up to us to be the change - And even though we all can still do more - There's so much to be thankful for."

I'm overwhelmed by the love I feel from my Heavenly Father and my Savior.

And I'm sure this blog is pointless for everyone but myself, but I really needed it to sort out my feelings, because simply writing in my journal tonight wasn't enough.  Maybe I'll be able to get some sleep now.

The words from my favorite lullaby my mom and dad sang to me when I was younger, "Angel Lullaby:"

"You come from a land where all is light - To a world half day and a world half night - To guard you by day you have my love - And to guard you by night your friends above - So sleep, sleep, 'till the darkness ends - Guarded by your angel friends - So sleep, sleep, 'till the darkness ends - Guarded by your angel friends - There's one that stands softly by your bed - And another waits close with a hand on your head - There's one at the window watching for the dawn - And one waits to wake you when the night is gone - So sleep, sleep, 'till the darkness ends - Guarded by your angel friends - So sleep, sleep, 'till the darkness ends - Guarded by your angel friends."