Now We're Back To The Beginning...

I know just a few weeks ago I was never going to have anything to do with you ever again.  I guess I'm just not as strong as I thought I was.

Or maybe there's something else at work that I just can't see yet.

When we were talking last night, and I asked you if I could come visit you as a friend sometime later this year... Well, I was shocked when you said you were looking at coming to see me.  I guess I'm excited and terrified by the thought.  I know you said it was for a paintball tournament... But you also said that there were four in Texas, and I'm just about as far away from you in Texas as I can be... Why don't you choose to go to the other tournaments?

Me: "Well, good luck with getting a [paintball] team together. And I'm sure Theresa would feed you at least once while you're in Houston if you made it that far... ;-)  it would be nice to see you again..."
Him:  "Here's hoping... And that it would."

So, you're coming to Houston to see me?

It's such a shock to me that I'm not sure how I should feel about it.

I feel like we're dating again.  Even though I know we aren't.  Wait, are we?

I'm so confused.

But I know it feels like it did when we were dating... Both times...

How will I ever move on if things don't work out between us?  I have no idea, and I think that's why I want it to work out so badly...But I'm really trying not to get my hopes up this time.  But when you say you're coming to see me, and that it would be good to see each other again... I can't help it...

But you keep coming back to me, whether or not you want to admit it... Doesn't that mean I'm important to you?  Doesn't that mean that you need me in your life?

Is this what love is?  Needing someone else in your life so much that you aren't willing to give them up, even after they hurt you?

I don't know, but I know that it doesn't hurt anymore... Not now that you're back in my life...