So, life in a single's ward is simply full of drama. And I've decided that I don't want any part of it, and by saying that, I'm probably going to cause more drama than I ever wanted to be involved in.
I've noticed a couple of guys paying attention to me more than they have in the past. One, his face lights up every time we bump into each other, on what I assume to be is accident, but you never know with men, one has been talking to me more often than I would have expected, and another seems to have only recently realized I exist, but appears to enjoy my presence, because he comes up to me and talks to me quite often. If any one of them were to ask me out, I would feel like I'd be committing a sin if I were to accept. But I would accept. I don't care who likes them, who doesn't like them, or who's best friend thinks who is hot. I think they are all respectable men, all with bright futures ahead of them, and I'm not looking for a husband right now, so I see nothing wrong in accepting a date invitation, if one should HAPPEN to come my way. Which, I'm not expecting it to, seeing as how the men in my ward don't take the initiative.
So, did I just commit social suicide in my ward? I don't care. I like people. I haven't been on very many dates in my life, and a VERY small percentile of them have been what I consider good. I want opportunities to go on dates. I just want to have a good time with good people. I'm not purposefully stepping on toes!!! And plus, I haven't stepped on any toes, because no one takes the initiative to ask anyone out in the ward, and I certainly am not going to ask anyone out. Not even if I feel like I should after a dream I had.
I'm still looking for employment. I've been trying to find something that would be good for me. Something on the production or distribution side of things, but I haven't been having much luck. There's one I heard about today, but I don't know that I could work the hours, even though the pay is good. Pray for me, that's all I ask.
On another topic, I find it horribly sad that my nephew comes running to me when something goes wrong... I love being the one to hold him, kiss him better, comfort him, and whatever else I need to do for him... But it shouldn't be me.
The bishop gave a great lesson today. One of his questions really hit home for me: Why is it so hard to say, "I love you,"? I know if I would have learned that lesson a long time ago, I would be in a much different spot in my life. But you know what? I've decided that I really enjoy being single. I love not having to worry about the financial burden of putting someone else through school... I think that's my biggest thing...
Anyway, I think it's time for me to go to bed now. Goodnight world. I hope you enjoyed my ramblings tonight.
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