I'm a chicken. And if I were Lizzy, there would be another word added on the end...

So yeah.  I know I said I wasn't going to ask guys out anymore.  And then, last night, I had this weird, crazy random dream.  And I decided to ask someone out.  And I'm a freaking chicken, and have had some of the best opportunities to ask him out, but I'm a freaking chicken!!!!  I recently decided that I'm happy being single, too...

I don't even know if he likes me.  I don't know that I want him to like me.  I don't even know if I like him!  And yet, here I am, debating on how I'm going to ask him out!  And I lied, I do like him.  He's a good person.  I'm the worst at this!!!!  What is wrong with me?!?

And I've had the song taking chances stuck in my head... "What do you say to taking chances?  What do you say to Jumping off the edge?  Never knowing if there's solid ground below, or a hand to hold, or hell to pay... What do you say?"

I got some German chocolate tonight.  I wasn't entirely expecting it.  But I'm happy I got it.  Erdbeer Joghurt.  And for those of you who don't speak German, that's strawberry yogurt.  Has it calmed me down?  I don't know.  But it sure is good. :)

There's so much on my mind, I don't really know where to begin.  The dream I had last night really bothered me.  But what can you do?  My dreams, when they're like that, are usually indicative of something to come in my life.  And they tend to terrify me, because I never know exactly what they mean until after the event(s) take(s) place.  I can feel that big changes are about to take place in my life, and I really don't want anything bad to happen.  I'm a little bit numb... Like I something bad is happening, and I don't know what to do yet...  Like it hasn't set in yet.  Like when I was a first-year beehive at girl's camp and a girl fainted into the fire.  I was the only one that wasn't immediately screaming or crying.  It took hours, and days for the tears to come.  Like when my Uncle Bob died.  That was the worst reaction I ever had, but my reaction was delayed for that, too.  It took me two days to cry, but then it was months before I had a night without crying.  I still will cry for him sometimes...  Especially coming up on the anniversary of his death, aka, my sister's birthday, aka, Martin Luther King Junior day.

I don't even know where I'm going with this blog.  I thought that if I started typing, my thoughts would become rational and they really haven't.  I guess that means it's time to end it, before I confuse you even more.  Although, I'm doubting that anyone will read this.  It seems to be something that people will check after you post one thing, but don't really follow...